Promises of slumber
by Hikari Chou
Summary: Suddenly she found herself holding a gun to Heero as her lips whispered I will kill you as he had done to her before...


She would have given him the world and more. She used to breath him, need him, live off of him. It seemed like every word he said was her lifeline. He was her savior, he was her light, he was her strength.

She waited, and pinned over him for god knows how long. He was everything, he was anything, he was something, he was nothing. He was what made her, her.

So when he left her she was certain her world was over. Certain she'd crash and burn. But some how she had found a way to pick herself up off the floor. Some how she had found the strength to carry on even after he was gone. Because she was content just to know he was still alive and well.

There was one point in time where her love had known no bounds. She used to think if she had just given up, she'd be the perfect one for him. But there was no perfect one for the perfect solider.

These were the harsh realities of life.

He didn't need her. Never did, and never would.

But even knowing this, when she got wind of his death- she died inside too.

She would never forget reading that article. Never forget the disbelief, the denial. "Teen preventer Heero Yuy's body was found just yesterday..." That's all she had gotten through before throwing herself to her floor with a bloody curdling scream.

And it was in that position she had stayed for the next three days.

The thoughts irrupted a sigh from the girl's lips as she ran a silver hairbrush through her golden locks. The haunting image of her first and only love in that casket was more then enough to insure that he was truly gone. And knowing this made her life hell.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered that she had a flight to the L1 to make a public speech on the current condition of the peace treaty. She had no will, however, to get on the shuttle. Let alone make a speech.

It had only been yesterday that Heero's body had been buried and not once had he escaped her mind since. Not once did that image leave her for a moments rest.

_Its already over for you._ Her mind teased. And in that moment, she knew it was right. It was already over. Without him, she had no will to go on.

Her ocean blue eyes moved to the night stand near her bed and instantly a shiver ran its course down her spine, already knowing what was inside of it. Already knowing what she was going to do.

She stood from her chair, her silk night gown whispering softly as she moved across the carpeted floor. Opening the drawer and reaching down, her hand came in contact with cold metal and she grinned almost sadistically.

If she tried hard enough she could fool herself into believing it was a gun. If she tried hard enough, she could imagine suddenly finding herself standing in front of Heero with that gun and whispering "I will kill you" to him as he had done to her. If she tried hard enough...if she tried hard enough the pain went away for a brief second.

Shaking her head she reached past the metal her unused clock and grabbed the desired object. Quickly popping the top off, she poured several tiny pills into her hand.

Eyes dancing with fear, mischief, and relief, Relena popped the pills into her mouth and forced them down with a swallow.

A sudden calm ran through her veins. _Its all okay now_... her mind reminded her and she nodded softly to herself as she pulled the covers back from her bed. Slipping beneath the sheets she closed her eyes for her eternal sleep.

She would have given him the world and more. She used to breath him, need him, live off of him. It seemed like every word he said was her lifeline. He was her savior, he was her light, he was her strength. And maybe, just maybe, he'd be waiting for her on the other side.

* * *

So this utterly sucked. XD Just had to write SOMETHING to get me out of my writers block. And where it fails as a good piece, it suceeded in getting rid of the block. So I should give you all something decent to read some time soon. Dx Sorry this was so bad.

Hikari


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